I hope you read the title like the New Kids on the Block song “The Right Stuff” because that’s exactly what went through my head when I wrote it.

Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh
Oh, oh, oh, oh
Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh
The right choice

Ok moving on….

I’ve discovered recently that when it comes to making decisions, I must always make the RIGHT choice.  The choice that leads to happiness and perfection for all involved in the decision. If the outcome is less than ideal, clearly it’s my fault for choosing incorrectly.

For example, something as simple as choosing the restaurant after church looks like this: if the line is long or our children aren’t happy with the food I blame myself for making the wrong choice. I apologize to Nick for choosing this particular restaurant on this day and (mentally) beat myself up for not making the right decision.

This translates onto a larger scale too: I can’t tell you how many times I’ve questioned our decision to send Mariah to French Immersion school or to go back to work full time. It was not all unicorns and rainbows let me tell you. Was that because I made the wrong choice?

I think this obvious problem stems from two places.  First of all Responsibility is my number one Strength’s Finder strength. I put a lot of unnecessary pressure on myself for most everything.  As the strength’s description goes: “[they] take psychological ownership of what they say they will do.” Because I made the choice, I feel responsible when it goes poorly.

The second reason adding to my craziness is that I’ve always been taught and believe in following God’s will.  Listening to God’s voice.  Waiting for his calling…. the catch phrases go on and on.  Helping students find their “life calling” is something I’m passionate about at my job.  I’ve had many discussions with students about what they’re “supposed to do” with their life.  I love helping them work through the questions and talk about their passions to see if we can find “it”. The right direction. The right major.  The right job.

But I’ve come to realize I can’t put so much pressure on myself to make the right choice – and neither should anyone else. We don’t have to wait for this clear sign or audible voice from the Lord to make a decision. That just doesn’t happen most of the time. I believe the Holy Spirit (that still small voice within us) leads us and guides us as we pray and read scripture.  And if a choice lines up with what’s in the Bible and there really isn’t a clear objection, then we should go for it.  “Follow your heart” as some would say.  Because I think God honors our choices.  After all he gave us free will and he’ll be with us no matter what choice we make – even if it is the wrong one. And if there is such a thing as the right choice we don’t always know how things will play out after our decision – if we knew exactly what our future looked like how terrible would that be? Not much excitement there I suppose (says the control freak who would like to know every single detail thankyouverymuch).

So I’m going to try to stop taking on so much responsibility for the choices I make.  To let them be choices and play out in both good and bad ways because life isn’t going to be unicorns and rainbows all the time.  Sometimes the right choice is going through a trial to be stronger in the end, right?

“A choice is just a choice” Nick likes to tell me often.  So I’m going to stop beating myself up for both big and little choices and just take life as it comes.  (so much easier said than done!)