Three months from today we’ll be boarding our plane to Italy.  Holy craziness!

Our office is currently a mess of boxes, bins and piles.  Items to ship and keepsakes to store are being sorted and prepped.  I add to Craigslist daily and filter through spam and real inquires about our stuff.  As the things are starting to go, I’m starting to say goodbye and begin the grieving process.

We’re currently listing smaller items so we still have furniture to sit on for a little longer, but it’s those small items that seem to hold the most value and memories.  My second DSLR camera and favorite fixed lens are gone from my photography business days. The girl’s play kitchen left the other night.  Any day now our dishes and Kitchenaid mixer will (hopefully) be purchased.  Those Pottery Barn dishes were my dream dishes 10 years ago, and being blessed with a full set of 12 for a wedding gift was fantastic.  But dishes are really heavy, and styles have changed – so they go.  My Kitchenaid doesn’t get nearly as much use as I promised Nick it would when I asked 8 years ago if I could get one, but it’s what I used when learning to make bread and pizza dough and thinking about all the birthday cakes and brownies and yummy treats we’ve made with it makes me a little sad to let it go.

I have to remind myself they’re just things.  Yes, they have memories tied to them, but I can still hold onto the memories without them physically in my presence.

I’m also starting to say goodbye and let go of places.  Each trip to Target I have a little moment of goodbye.  I know I’ll be happy with an H&M in town, but other than that I don’t know what clothes and household item shopping will look like in Italy. Each weekend when I sit in church or spend time with my small group, I grieve a little for the loss of that community.  Looking back at twelve years in the same church brings up all the feelings. When Mariah has a playdate I’m sad for her to leave her friends from school and sad I won’t get to continue to build relationships with the school families I met this year.

I’m thrilled to have family close by when we move though, and I’m looking forward to finding new friends and community in our new home.  For now, I’m letting myself feel the feelings with hope that the new places and things will bring new memories.